By Anon
About seven months ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Although this came as a shock, I had known that something had not been right for a while. I had suffered from deep dark depressions for years which were followed by periods where I was unable to sleep for days. Although the diagnosis was scary, it did come as some sort of relief. Finally I had a name for what was wrong with me.
But I doubted the diagnosis, how could I, a normal 26-year-old who experienced a few highs and lows be diagnosed with something ‘crazy’ people had. I thought of all the celebrities who had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Britney Spears and Kerry Katona were two names that came to mind. But how could my Doctor compare me with two celebrities who had clearly gone off the rails?
Since then I’ve been unable to come to terms with the diagnosis. Until yesterday I hadn’t spoken to anyone about it, mainly because the diagnosis scared me, but also because I didn’t want anyone to think differently of me.
But yesterday I was in a conversation with someone when for some reason I dropped my bombshell. We were talking about life and the obstacles that it throws at us, and suddenly before I knew it I mentioned that I had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I couldn’t believe that I had divulged such a private detail about myself. Especially something that I was so ashamed about.
But I guess it happened for a reason.
As it turns out my ‘secret’ wasn’t such a bombshell after all. In fact the person I was with was completely understanding, and had experienced their own highs and lows.
I guess the moral of the story is that I was so busy keeping my secret that it was in fact eating me up. Sure, I don’t have to tell everyone that I have Bipolar disorder- as it’s none of their business. But that doesn’t mean that I have to let it burn a hole inside of me either.
I’ve realised that it doesn’t matter if I have ups or downs, that is not what defines me. What matters is that I pick myself up after each fall.
That in itself is liberating.
Well written and honest! One in four people worldwide will suffer from mental health issues.. I am one of those, it’s not something that one should have to hide in today’s world where so much is tolerated. I know the big problem is a lack of education in these issues. You’re helping towards understanding in your article, I salute you.
Ciara 24
that you should talk to somobedy. It sounds like that’s what you want to do but that you feel like you’re parents have dismissed you in the past and you don’t feel comfortable trying to talk to them again. I would probably feel the same way in your situation. If you can find somobedy like a school counselor or teacher, another adult relative you feel comfortable with, or even one of your friend’s parents that you can talk to, that might be a good idea. From there you can ask them to help you, and maybe they can help you talk to your parents and get you to a counselor or psychiatrist; this will be easier if your parents are there to support you. I suggest this first because counselors aren’t free. If there is nobody else that you can talk to, then by all means see if you can get a hold of a counselor who is willing to take some time to talk to you for a little bit without payment and then maybe they can help you talk to your parents. Even though counselors need to make a living, they are first and foremost there to help you. I am glad to hear that you have never attempted suicide and I truly hope that you never do. Please, if you feel like you want to end your life then go to the hospital or call 911. I won’t lie and say that things will be better right away; you might have to spend some time in the hospital, but look at Demi Lovato and how much better she is doing after spending time getting help. I too have been in the hospital and used to s/h. There is no shame in asking for help, and don’t ever forget that you are not alone. Each and every one of you on here will be in my thoughts.