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What defines you?
By Anon
About seven months ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Although this came as a shock, I had known that something had not been right for a while. I had suffered from deep dark depressions for years which were followed by periods where I was unable to sleep for days. Although the diagnosis was scary, it did come as some sort of relief. Finally I had a name for what was wrong with me.
But I doubted the diagnosis, how could I, a normal 26-year-old who experienced a few highs and lows be diagnosed with something ‘crazy’ people had. I thought of all the celebrities who had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Britney Spears and Kerry Katona were two names that came to mind. But how could my Doctor compare me with two celebrities who had clearly gone off the rails?
Since then I’ve been unable to come to terms with the diagnosis. Until yesterday I hadn’t spoken to anyone about it, mainly because the diagnosis scared me, but also because I didn’t want anyone to think differently of me.
But yesterday I was in a conversation with someone when for some reason I dropped my bombshell. We were talking about life and the obstacles that it throws at us, and suddenly before I knew it I mentioned that I had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I couldn’t believe that I had divulged such a private detail about myself. Especially something that I was so ashamed about.
But I guess it happened for a reason.
As it turns out my ‘secret’ wasn’t such a bombshell after all. In fact the person I was with was completely understanding, and had experienced their own highs and lows.
I guess the moral of the story is that I was so busy keeping my secret that it was in fact eating me up. Sure, I don’t have to tell everyone that I have Bipolar disorder- as it’s none of their business. But that doesn’t mean that I have to let it burn a hole inside of me either.
I’ve realised that it doesn’t matter if I have ups or downs, that is not what defines me. What matters is that I pick myself up after each fall.
That in itself is liberating.
The quarter-life crisis- It really exists
Below is my article which appeared in the Irish Times Health Supplement in July 2010
Take some time to have a read and let me know what you think.
MARIE DUFFY
MIND MOVES: ONCE UPON a time there was the mid-life crisis. But in today’s fast-paced world, where things happen more quickly than before, we have the quarter-life crisis.
I remember laughing when I first heard the phrase. I thought it was simply another term made up by a group of spoilt young people who believed that mummy and daddy should hand everything to them on a plate. The all-about-me generation.
But then I hit the age of 26 and suddenly it all made sense. People always talk about the difficulty of the teenage years. But no one ever tells you what a pain in the ass your 20s are. It was tough being a teenager, but in my experience it’s even harder trying to navigate life as someone in their mid-20s.
So you’re probably wondering what this quarter-life crisis is about. It’s essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.
The quarter-life crisis is unique for 20-somethings today – it’s taking much longer for us to become adult if we look at traditional markers such as financial independence and starting a family.
Our 20s are supposed to be a time of opportunity and adventure, before grown-up things such as mortgages, marriage and mayhem have come along. But instead, reality involves struggling to cope with stress around jobs, unemployment, huge college debt and relationships. Like many other students, I took out college loans in good faith and am left struggling to pay off thousands of euro of debt without the security of full-time employment.
As a teenager I believed the world was my oyster. But by the time I reached 25, reality set in and I realised that life was tougher than people had made it out to be.
Life isn’t a Hollywood movie, and I wasn’t going to snap my fingers and have the perfect job, house and man magically appear. Unfortunately, life is not an episode of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch .
It will be sunny one day
Depression is such a lonely illness and it takes a lot of courage for people to reach out to others. But I love hearing of stories when someone does reach out and gets a positive reaction.
Crystal Nunn was going through a deep depression when she found the courage to send Stephen Fry a letter. Fry’s history with manic depression is well documented, but never in a million years did Crystal think that Fry would reply to her letter.
The letter which I’ve transcribed below has a wonderful message and it well worth a read.
Transcript
April 10, 2006
Dear Crystal,
I’m so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I’m not sure there’s any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it’s sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don’t love yourself that much.
I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:
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Young Leaders Nomination
So recently I’ve been nominated for a Young Leaders award for my work as a mental health advocate, and for my work here at Unwind Your Mind.
Usually things like this make me feel pretty uncomfortable but I have to say it’s a great feeling and I feel very humbled by it.
You can read an interview I did with the guys at o2
Check it out here
Attitude is Everything
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.”
So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “H-M-M” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.”
So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said, “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “YEAH!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!” Attitude is everything!